Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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