I just pynch a tree in the face
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
