this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Panties = found
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