I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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