If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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