your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
