How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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