someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
