porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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