went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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