You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
