I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
