shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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