nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
