I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
