I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
