roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
