I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
