I'm drive I can fine osifer
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
