it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
