I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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