she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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