He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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