Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
