My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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