This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
