we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
