Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
