she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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