I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
