Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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