Swine flu is the new snow day.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
