I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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