I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize