Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
