she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
