Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
