I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
