I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
