You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize