big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
