happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
