I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
