I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
