When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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