your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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