margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.