Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him