By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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