I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize