found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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