Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize