Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
