I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
