She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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