DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
