Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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