you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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