did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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