She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.