the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
