He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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